My dad passed away from a fatal heart attack at age 74. He had 7 bypass heart surgery back in 1990 so by 2007 he was overdue and having some heart issues. He had been to the cardiologist the Friday before he passed and it didn't look promising. They agreed to the Do Not Resuscitate Order on his medical record.
When my mom told me this, I had a fit. Why would you do this? I was very upset about this. He was my dad and I loved him and would have never agreed to that order. I believe in HOPE.
The day he passed, he was having major discomfort. They did nothing! My mom sat there and watched my dad. At one point, she did say she wanted to call 911 but he wouldn't let her. Finally, he gave in, due to the pain and told her to call 911- he staggered to the hallway and fell.
When the EMT's came my mother was hysterical.
"Oh come on- you sat there and watched him DIE and did nothing." I thought to myself.
If it had been me, I would have called at the first sign. I adored that man.
The year after my dad's passing was a hard year for my Mom. She grieved; was depressed and no doubt felt guilty as she replayed that day in her mind. Little did I know, it was the beginning of the end for her. She committed suicide just hours after my sisters birthday- March 6, 2008.
It's hard to this day for me. It brings up, my difficult relationship with my mother (after I graduated high school) It took me a day to get up there - I had to get off work, and my husband and I had to get our pets taken care of and by the time I got up there, they had already viewed my dad. I didn't get to see him. I never got to tell him, Goodbye. I thought that was horribly selfish of my mom and my sister - they just couldn't wait.
Although now, its probably a blessing I didn't view his dead body. My niece to this day, says she wishes she hadn't and my sister had said, she still saw him, like that in her mind.
I live in the same house, where both my mom and dad passed away in. We've redecorated and painted etc but I still see glimpses of my dad around my yard. The waterfall and pond he built; his flagpole the front yard and "his" garage- his tools, his fishing pools.
He died way too young and I believe, he could have been saved. Maybe he would have died on the operating table, but at least we would have tried to save him - a good man.
|I will never stop loving my daddy|