Monday, June 26, 2017

More on Cousins...

This past winter a 1st cousin contacted via Facebook, about their plans to come out to San Francisco for the summer. She lives in Ohio. I have not laid eyes on her since the last family reunion in 1971 and even then, we did not speak or hang out. We were both 17. In the above picture, I am the top arrow and my sister is sitting on the floor, bottom arrow. You can tell by our body language, we were not having fun. (and yes, you can see my bra through my top; maybe that was why they ignored me.)

Everyone there knew each other -lived around each other so they were all friendly to each other. My sister and I were like aliens. We were from California. We dressed differently than they did, and we just didn't have that much in common. Up to that point, I had been pen pals with my one cousin, who was 1 year older than me. She totally snubbed me and I was hurt. All the girl cousins, cliched (sp) together and I remember telling my Mom, "heck if I knew they were going to be all clichey, (sp) I could have stayed home and gone to school."

After that reunion, we never saw each other again.

Until Facebook. (God I hate Facebook)

We all "friended" each other - you know, to look at each other's pictures. But anything more than that was not on the table. So back to my cousin, same age as me, who wanted to come out to California. Why contact me? Come on, I was raised in the San Francisco Bay Area - they want a free tour guide.
Some other first cousins are coming as well, yet they don't message me.

I explained, that I NOW live in rural California and it takes me 3 hours to get to the Sacramento airport. Without ever giving me any details of what exactly they wanted - I didn't hear from her again, until this past week. They are coming out the first week in October. I've been having knee problems, so I let her know, that I would not be able to be their tour guide in San Francisco. Parking is a b--ch.  - and the best way to get around is by walking, bus, Muni, street car or cable car. Plus now we only have one car. I told her, I can meet them for dinner - it's their vacation -not mine.

I know I can be rather blunt - I think I pissed her off. She never replied back. If they are going to be that sensitive, then it's best we don't meet up.

As it stands, I don't know if they are coming or not. She wanted my address and instead, I gave her my phone number. Still no phone call. I guess they wanted to just POP IN.

It would have been okay if they wanted to see me. But where I live is not exactly on the tourist maps. They like big cities. The only ones who enjoy my area are hikers and backpackers and people who love natural beauty instead of a congested city. They would be bored here.


  1. Sounds like you did the right thing. Will be interesting to see if you hear from them!!

  2. Maybe they were hoping for a free place to stay until we realized how far out in the sticks you were. I've had a few cousins come through areas where we lived over the years but never had made a connection with them. One was going to try to come up and visit us (about 60 minutes from where they were staying) but then my uncle was tired so they decided not to come. Another time my brother contacted me that a cousin was in town and wanted to do a dinner, but again the timing was off so we didn't go (brother and his family did). At this point there are only a handful of cousins I might want to see again and doubtful it will probably happen.


  3. Good for you! I admire folks who stick up for themselves. Many folks don't like me 'cause I am too outspoken. Tough.


Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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