Yesterday I mentioned about family - and then there are my cousins by the dozens, that won't give me the time of day. What is that all about?
I've lived my whole life, estranged from cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents - even my half-brother! Oh we would go back, every 2-3 years for a visit but you can't set a foundation or forge a decent relationship with only a few days of visiting. I was the cousin from California. I pen palled with 2 cousins for awhile. Then we all grew up and went our separate ways. When everyone was alive, there were 35 cousins just from my dad's side of the family. Nearly 55-2nd cousins. My dad was the youngest son and so some of his nieces and nephews were as old as he was, and they all grew up together in Eastern Tennessee. One BIG happy family.
Many did eventually move to California - so we have a big branch of the family now, all over California - yet no one wants to get together for a reunion. I see on Facebook, they "reunion" with everyone else - it used to hurt my sister a lot. Now my sister is gone and I'm starting to get bothered by it, because I really am orphaned. My parents and my sister are gone. The only family, that does seem to genuinely want to claim me, is my brother and his family - only they are in Alabama - and we are different as night and day. They are good people - just from Alabama. I have invited them, out to California several times, but they seem to be afraid to come out here, from all that they have heard. I've been back there, once and had a really nice time. My husband wants to go back this October. So we are thinking about it. It just bugs me, that no one ever wants to come out here to visit me - I'm the one who has to make the effort or it won't be done.
I don't think, they dislike me - they just don't know me or want to know me because I have never been a part of their lives. There is no bond. They are cordial; treat me no different than you would a passing neighbor or friend. I wonder though, as we all are getting older, and we start dropping off, if ever, they will reach out and want to covet that family relationship we do have? I mean, if I live a long life, someone might get stuck with me - then they will have to get to know me.
So yesterday, I get an email from Ancestry - A 4th cousin is contacting me because we are in the same DNA circle - she tells me, no one will return her emails. Of course I did - and while I am not thinking, we are going to be best friends or anything, we can share with each other, family stories, fill in those missing pieces in our family trees.