Thursday, March 16, 2017

Talking deep with my son

Foodie on one of his rockclimbing-backpacking trips


My son, Foodie called me to tell me about his new raise. He works as a Dietitian in a Care facility. He works hard. He is 36, unmarried and a pretty happy guy, all in all. He is addicted to outdoor recreation. Rock climbing, backpacking, bike-camping, hiking. If he were born in the 1850's, he would be a miner. He is pretty much his own man. He works, comes home - enjoys life and then lives for the next adventure.

Trinity Alps


So he calls me, and he starts in, with the deep conversation about life. I figure he's got a brew in hand and he's getting sentimental. I think he might be starting to think about how to fit a woman, into his life. Before, he said, he was a lifetime bachelor. He didn't want to be tied down to one woman-  he wants to do what he wants, and not have to answer to another person. Plus he always said, he couldn't afford to have a relationship. But now, that his best friend and younger brother, Navy is in a serious relationship, it's got him thinking.

I don't know what it is with my guys, but they always talk deep with me. They tell me things, I really don't need to know. When they tell me their hurts,  it bothers me because I hurt with them. I don't let them know, I still worry about them. He also started in on me, about Michael. He would have been 40, this August and yes, it still bothers me. He asked when I was going to scatter his ashes. It will be 14 years, this May. I told him, I will wait and do it for sure, next year at year 15. Then I told him, I don't want to talk about it. (makes me teary) I know everyone, thinks I am stalling. It does seem that way. No one understands. 

He assumes I am dying for grandchildren. I was a few years ago, and finally just, let it go and whatever happens, will happen. I won't die if I never have them. I spent 30 years in the childcare/early childcare education profession - I wanted them back when I was younger. Now, I am fine, either way. I do have several great and great great nieces and nephews from my brother's family that are like grandchildren and my sister's 3 yr old grandson.

Navy and waterfall


I guess I am blessed that my 2 guys still like to talk to me. Foodie more than Navy. My friend says her son, doesn't tell her anything and Mine tell me too much. Go figure.

PS. It's a good thing, they don't read my blog.




12 comments:

  1. My son doesn't talk to me that often; he mostly will talk to my husband. It doesn't bother me because I know he loves me, just has more man stuff to talk about!

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  2. Mine only call when they have a problem...well it seems that way. I think it is slowly switching over where they worry about me more than i worry about them, but someone always has to worry.

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    Replies
    1. oh yeah, I know about that. So far, things with them are good - no problems.

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  3. This is encouraging. I hope my guys talk to me when they grow up.

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    Replies
    1. We got close when their father left. We really bonded during those years

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  4. I would "die" to have sons like yours. Getting my son to talk is like pulling teeth. I have found over the years if we are doing an activity together like cooking, he's more able to talk. Lately there's been a lot of turmoil about this and that and he's more forthcoming, but there are still those moments when its hard to get anything from him.

    betty

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    1. Then create more of those "activity" times. My younger one, is starting to get more like this, now that he has a serious girlfriend.

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  5. Enjoy what you have. My sons don't talk to me deeply at all. I wish they would. One doesn't talk to me at all!! And I have a granddaughter right now who lives with me. I would happily send her to you if you want. She's 17! Much worse than any boy I raised!!

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    1. I don't do well with the girls. God gave me sons. He knew what He was doing. :-)

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  6. Yes, you are lucky that they talk with you, and deeply, even more. Me and my son are close too, and we have good conversations. : ) You have two handsome sons. About your son's ashes.....you will take care of it in your own time, when you're ready. Sending comforting thoughts today.

    ~Sheri

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Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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