Monday, March 06, 2017
A Good Lesson Learned
You can't go home again.
Well, you can, but it sure won't be the same. That is the eye-opening experience I had this weekend, driving down to the bay area for my friend's memorial service.
It was one of the best memorials I have gone to. Maybe it's because she passed November 23 and it was a shock, so they waited till after the holiday season to March 4 for a memorial and even then, they were still raw, with emotion. For everyone else, it was just a good place to be - sharing good and funny memories of our friend.
When you move away and are no longer part of the same community, you may say, "We will still keep in touch and be friends." but things do change. My good friend, who lives there, practically ignored me the whole time there. She was nice, but she was talking to everyone there - people she sees more than me. I did get bitchy, and at one point, when she walked by and said, "oh so many people to talk to." I said, "Yeah I drove 4 hours to have you ignore me."
Hhhhhh, Did I just say THAT? I can be so rude and outspoken at times, a trait that seems to get worse, the older I get.
Of course I spoke with many old friends - and it was good to see everybody. But this one friend - I "EXPECTED" more. And that is the problem. Expectations always get me into trouble. Can't live that way, and I know this and don't usually EXPECT things, from others - but I slipped up - expected we would spend more time with each other visiting and it didn't happen. Expectations is a close relative to ASSUMING. (Assume)
The husband and I went back to our room at Moffett Federal Airfield Navy Lodge. I grumbled about it - then I decided to just put it behind me. No biggie. My own fault anyway because I assumed and expected. Never once did we actually PLAN anything.
It used to be, we never had to plan anything. We were close friends and we just assumed and expected to be there for each other. I can understand it NOW, that I have had time to think about it. Like if she came here, granted she doesn't know anybody, but for her to expect me to stop my life to show her around, would be assuming.
When you are away for so long, things change and you can't expect it to be the way it used to be. It takes time and we were only there for overnight.
I'm probably not going back for at least another year. It's a shame, if I keep dwelling on it. Just have to shelf it and forget about it. Life is too short.
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