Sunday, December 25, 2016
I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas - whichever way you observe and celebrate. I've had years where I could barely get out of bed - due to depression and grief. It started for me when my 25 yr old son died, unexpectedly on May 8, 2003. 3 days before Mothers Day.
Each year, I tolerated the season and mostly faked it. I used to put up the tree right after Thanksgiving and now, it was a chore, I did, a week or so before Christmas. Then it would take me a month, to take them down. I nearly lost my faith - then I felt, I was unworthy.
I was just starting to feel some grief-relief when:
My dad died in 2007.
My mom committed suicide in 2008.
My best friend died 2010 - she was 49.
My sister died, unexpectedly last year at the age of 56.
Last month a good friend of mine, died at 68.
I kept taking hits - that would try and knock me off my feet. Moms suicide nearly did me in - and even though those years 2007-2016 were rough, they still were not as bad as from 2003-2007.
I can honestly say, that I believe I am through it - I am starting to regain my love for Christmas and for LIFE in general. I feel great. Even with losing my sister and my good friend, last month. It didn't trigger past grief. Yes I grieved, but in a normal way.
I am grateful to God, that I finally have made it though the other side of grief. I screamed and cried and kicked the whole way - I just wouldn't accept any of it. God stayed true to me. I couldn't accept His peace.
So what does this have to do with Christmas?
31 years ago, at Christmas, is when I accepted that special Babe in the manger. So every Christmas, (with the exception of the last 8 years) I would try and take a inventory of my walk with God. I may not be the best Christian out there; I have my struggles and all, but I do know, that if it weren't for THAT BABY, I would of never survived, all that I have been through.
So much happening in the world today, that I don't like or understand. There is a lot of PAIN out there, as well. Bottom line, we are ALL welcome at the manger. It is time, that we who believe, make that known to those who do not feel welcome.
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