Saturday, April 09, 2016

The State of Happy



Throughout my adult life, staying happy has been a challenge...not that I don't want to, but I have suffered a lot of loss. 2003, my son died at the age of 25. Then my dad died in 2007 and my mom committed suicide in 2008. My best friend, died in 2010 and my sister died unexpectedly this past Sept. at the age of 56.

There have been good friends, and a few loved and adored pets, that have passed as well.

The biggest of all of these losses, was my son. It will be 13 years and I can honestly say, I have to work at being HAPPY. I could very well, just give up. If you've ever been in the vice-grip of grief, you know it is much better to work at being and staying HAPPY.

I appreciate, the state of Happy. I work hard to stay in that space. It does get easier when I DECIDE that I prefer being happy and living happily, than to mope around and grieve the rest of my life. It doesn't mean, I don't love my family or son or beloved pets any less. I believe they would want me to be happy.

So today and everyday I choose to be Happy. This world we live in, gives us many reasons, not be happy and at times we really have to make that choice to be happy, no matter what.

Stay happy my friends.

12 comments:

  1. Funny, I was just thinking about this morning when I woke up feeling sad, just as I do every morning. I wondered about being happy. I thought, well I have happy moments. I suppose I should be more aware of those. I understand your grief, you know.

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    1. It's definately a choice. We have to work at it, for those of us who struggle with depression and all. I've been doing great for quite some time now...FINALLY after like 10 years. It's like the clouds, just opened up for me.

      I know you know...we are kindred spirits in that way.

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  2. The Bloggess' book "Furiously Happy" is about that: deciding to be happy, or at least act happy, regardless of what's happening inside. I'm usually very "death is a part of life" regarding individual deaths, but this past winter it seemed that people were dropping like flies all around me, including a favorite aunt and surrogate dad. I really was a mess for a week or two. But I knew I had to do something or the grief would turn into depression. It was work, but I'm back.
    Good for you for making the choice to be happy.

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    1. Part of being happy, is also having a better understanding about death, something that is not taught anymore. It's true. Everyone dies. It's part of life. It's more about loss than anything. We miss those who died - life as we knew before, changes.

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  3. It sucks losing people.I almost lost my child years ago and I am so eternally grateful that I didn't. You have been through a lot and you do well. Sometimes it is "if you don't laugh, you will cry".

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    1. OMG, now I've never "almost" lost anyone. They just die. I would imagine, that would be life changing as well. The panic of it all. So happy, it all worked out for you.

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  4. I love the Linclon quote! I have to work at happiness too!! I understand just what you mean about grief. I recently (well, 18 months ago) lost my beloved husband of more than 30 years. Very painful. Good luck to you with your grief!


    Paula from
    Smidgen, Snippets, & Bits

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    1. aww, bless your heart. That must be very hard. I always hope I go first, because I don't want to experience losing the love of my life.

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  5. I'm very sorry for your losses. From my experience, you have to lift yourself up. But the sadness takes awhile to leave no matter what. It is hard not to ruminate. You never totally move on but you do. I don't think God created us to only suffer. Joy is part of his gift.

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    1. I agree Ann and thanks for dropping by

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  6. Yes happiness doesn't come naturally for many people choosing to be happy is just that a choice but that doesn't mean it comes easy often it takes a lot of work to be happy

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    1. It used to come a lot easier when we were innocent little kids.

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Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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