|The husband and I in the middle with Laydee and friends on each end. Standing at the Sundial Bridge in Redding Ca|
I'm doing fine - Wish I could shake the occasional bouts of sadness that I get, over my sister's sudden death. On the most part, I am doing so much better than I used to - in regard to the grieving. EXPEDIENCE I guess. What is left, after all is said and done, is just the normal-missing-her part. I no longer TRY to figure it out. Well not entirely - I am still curious about the blood test results just because, she is my baby sister - my blood. It seems my brother-in-law may be keeping facts away from myself as well as my niece. My husband keeps telling me, "WHY do you need to know more details?" I don't know, I just do. But at least I am not obsessing about it. Maybe once a week, it will cross my mind but it does upset me though. That's why it is best to not think about it.
Since Donna's death, every time I take a afternoon nap, I wonder...will I die in my sleep like she did?
I am still trying to get my house in order, in case I should die. I just would be so embarrassed for people to rummage through some of the dumb things I have kept.
2 weeks ago, I fell, hard. I did not break anything, just some bruising on my right side. I have a baby gate in the bathroom, to keep the dog out of the kitty litter. Usually I scale that sucker, with no problems - BUT this particular time, I was rushing and not thinking, and my flip flops caught on the gate and I lost my balance and BAM, right on the hard floor. It felt like a Mack Truck had hit me for a few days - my upper arm muscle, bothered me. Then yesterday I am at the dog park, and all of a sudden I get hit from behind and knocked over by a 125 lb Great Dane/Black Lab mix. Down I went again, on that right-side, re injuring that upper arm muscle. I was sore last night.
I might go in and see the Doc on Tuesday. My arm seems to be weak when I raise it up - at times, it seems to "catch" and then I get pain. It's not broke, but I might have pulled a muscle. I am right-handed so it is hard for me to do anything. Try going to the bathroom, when you can't use your hand or arm because it is in a sling. So I stopped with the sling.
I just want to be "me" again.
PS. I am wearing my sister's favorite comfy sweater in the picture.