Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Finding my own closure
I know my issues - When others have passed, I tend to dwell and analyze it to the point of torturing myself. I need to stop that. I spent a good deal of yesterday afternoon, trying to find answers. Just a waste of time - it isn't going to change anything.
I'm okay - I get a little weepy in the evening when I am getting tired. Some days, I need a nap, just so I can get through the evening. The other night, my brother-in-law called and together we tried to break into her yahoo email account. We had to answer all her questions and I had to rack my brains, on what was her first car. I remembered, after about 20 minutes of deep thinking. Of course, he had to go over all the cars that were popular in the 70's. It was a yellow hatchback Toyota Celica. PLUS it is IMPORTANT I am learning, to leave instructions to those who would be responsible for paying bills etc - passwords and such. She paid all the bills like I do.
My cousin is having services Thursday and Friday he will be buried. (in Ohio) but it seems so open-ended with my sister. I can't have it "my way" so I need to make my own closure. My niece's baby-daddy is Muslim and he was telling us, how he likes how the Muslims and Jews do it. They bury them within 12-24 hours. Plus I like that he was matter-of-fact - He said she had gone to meet her Creator. That is what I believe but if I say anything - like I even mention Jesus name, I get the stink-EYE from my brother-in-law who is just not into that. OKAY OKAY - I'll just have to do my own thing privately and find my own closure.
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