Wednesday, August 20, 2014

catching up - family

I'm sitting here trying to type - I have a wild little kitten that is all over the place...on the keyboard, on my lap, scratching the chair, chasing her tail, attacking my toes...oh the fun a kitten brings to the house.

  • So yesterday the husband finally switched over from 3rd shift (midnight to 8am) to 4pm to midnight. A  swing shift. Almost 2 years of this graveyard shift. We did it! He could of taken a day shift, but right now, with his dad still alive, he needs the mornings to deal with his dad and Char as well. 

  • We have heard from the VA home, that his dad might be moving in there, sometime this year...we are hoping and praying he gets in soon.  They take a percentage instead of a fixed amount which would leave him with a good amount of money left over. Right now, he gets $35 a month after he pays for the facility. Plus the VA Home is new, and he would have his own studio apartment. They have a van that comes and takes the veterans to the VA clinic when they need to go. 

  • Char started volunteering at the VA Home yesterday. She tried to volunteer at the animal shelter and they actually let her go, due to her hands shaking and she could not manipulate the leashes fast enough, which in turn upset the dogs. Also, it is hard for her to follow directions. She came home and cried. 

She really needs something to do - or else she stays in the RV, playing video games and watching you tube videos all day. She is waiting for the State to receive her school records from WA. State before they can proceed to offer her more programs to help her. We are realizing how bad her memory is. The other day she burned the beans and rice she was making for dinner. She forgot to set the timer and turn down the heat from a boil. Then she lies about it. I don't understand why she has to lie but my husband says she does that, because she is fearful she will get into trouble. Gosh, its not like I am going to scream at her. Those 4 years with Roy, really set her back. It is sad how the verbal and emotional abuse can be so devastating with lasting effects. She really needs to get into some in depth counseling...

I wish there were some type of training for the husband and I, in dealing with her. We can't tell if she is being lazy (which she is) or if she really cannot do something.  She never gives a yes or no answer. It's always, "I think so." "I don't know." "I can't remember." "Maybe or maybe not." She does not act like a almost 34 year old - more like 11 in some things, and 16 in others. Her Math skills are at about 3rd grade level. She told us, she received A's and B's all through school.  It was special education but I don't understand, how she would get those grades if she can't remember what she learned. It's very depressing and scary. We want her to eventually get out on her own and to be able to take care of herself after we are dead and gone. The Husband worries about her. I hope there is some help. Seems most of the help is for younger children. All of this should of been done years ago, but the family denied how bad her situation really was. So they kept telling her she could do it - which is good for set her up for failure every time. She's been fired from all her jobs and after a while, that gets to you.

She should of never married that guy. He saw she was someone he could boss around and control. And she looked to him as her savior...until he started in with the yelling and belittling her at about 6 months into their marriage. She felt she was stuck.


  1. I've heard about workshops for special needs folks. Do you think she would qualify for something like that? Assembly type work?

    1. The rehab rep we are waiting on, says they can help.

  2. Since my husband has never had a job that involves shift work that has more than two shifts day and night I had no idea what swing shift was until I read this I am not sure what that says about me. As far as your problems with Char all I can say is take it one day at at time and not lose it with her it will not change anything although it might make you feel better at the time

    1. Really? Glad you learned something!


Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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