Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Just some thoughts on death and dying
Death fascinates me. Stephanie's husband said, he held her in his arms, as she passed. I have heard people can actually "feel" something, an energy - when people finally pass on. I have felt that, with my dog, Sport - I was with him, when he finally let go and I could feel a difference in his body.
I'm not afraid of death - like I used to be. Or at least I don't think I am. I just hope it comes swift and with no pain.
When my son died, people would tell me, that he is a angel now - and that he is watching over me. And while the sentiment is beautiful - I really don't believe that. I don't believe we become angels after we die. From a Christian POV, we become higher than the angels and quite frankly, while we will be made fully aware I don't think we are going to sit around UP there, watching us down here. I would hope my Michael, is enjoying his eternal rest with God and doing whatever it is, they do UP there.
Sometimes I have this feeling I am going to live a very long time. Like into my 90's, I don't know how I feel about that. I am afraid I will outlive my children, though. I hope not. I look at my Aunt Mae, 95 years old and still doing well. She has outlived all her siblings.
I can't see, buying a expensive casket. I just can't see it! I guess I will be cremated. I think the whole body-disposal-thing is kinda yucky really. I don't believe I really care but making plans are good for helping out your loved ones. It's not for YOU. Just like services. I won't be there. It is for the living.
When my Mom died, we had her cremated. For some reason, there was a backup and her cremation was delayed. Her service was the next day and we called the funeral home to check on her "status". That was so creepy. That afternoon, we went up to pick up her ashes. (cremains) When the man, handed the box to us, the ashes were still warm. As we drove home, my sister was holding them, on her lap, and she told me, they were more than warm - they were actually HOT and burning her legs. That evening, we placed "Mom" on a table, under a pot holder as to not burn the table and made a display - The next morning, when we were getting ready to go - those ashes were still warm. Next time a loved one dies, I want those cremains to be room temperature or whatever is the normal temperature.
I sure do miss all those who have gone on, before me. There have been times in my life, where I actually felt envious - that they were all in a better place. I sure HOPE it is a "better place." Like a forever, eternal retirement place. I hope we don't just die. and that's it. Although that would be better, than going to Hell. I hear that is worse than a Redding summer.
I hope you all were not tweaked out by this post. I mean, we are all ADULTS and we all are going to DIE one day. I frankly believe we don't talk enough about death and dying and that is why the grieving is so hard for those left behind. It is natural. We live and we die.
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