When it comes to me and Char, I am the Mom. She even calls me Mom. Therefore I am. So when she annoys me, she annoys me as a child of mine would and I usually have no qualms telling her. Except I didn't raise her. There are many little things she does, that I would never have allowed my sons to get by with. Mine were being raised in a home with 3 active brothers, sports and a lot of company with the comings and goings of my daycare. I had friends and neighbors popping over all the time - it was a very active household. Char on the other hand was isolated. They moved around a lot when the Husband was in the Navy and Coast Guard. He was gone a lot too on deployments around the world. Maybe it was because I had boys, but I had to be tough.
Like when we eat, because we are a big family, everyone always asks first (instead of just taking) if anyone else wanted bread, or the last piece of meat etc. It's called "manners". Char on the other hand, doesn't ask, she tends to load up on all the bread and sometimes others do not have any. She does this when we go to potlucks, too. She is the first in line - and some have not even finished with the main meal, when she goes and gets dessert. It's rude. I was always taught, in potluck situations, you let the moms with little ones go first and the senior citizens and then the rest of us. Recently I tried to gently tell her and she looked at me like I was being mean to her. I guess, to her, I am mean if she was never taught. The Husband tells me, she just doesn't know, but he won't tell her - I have to be the bad guy. Oh that's right, I am the wicked step-mother. Yeah yeah I get it now.
Then there are those times, that I accommodate her in ways I would never do for "my own" all because it hurts her feelings. Today, it's raining hard - she has athletes foot. The cream she bought the other day, hasn't worked so we were to go and get some more Monday. She ran out and pretty much demanded that we go out and get some more today. Basically she whined and complained -
I can't believe I did it. I would of told my sons,
Sometimes I just don't know the difference between being spoiled and lazy or what is learning disabled behavior.