Saturday, February 15, 2014

Life partners and online relationships

 
Be Careful out here!




About 15-16 years ago, I was a divorced-single mom. I had no experience with single men. I had been with my ex husband since we met, when I was age 15. Oh we broke up a few times, because I was still in HS and he was in college. Seems HS boys really like HS girls who have college boyfriends. All of a sudden I was of interest. So yeah, a few turned my head back in the day!

Husband #1 and I were married 24 years - the last 2 years we were separated and going through the whole divorce drama. My oldest son, introduced me to the Internet. America Online to be exact back in 1996.  He encouraged me to "find someone". Lets just say, I acted like a silly teenage girl and I am ashamed to this day. However confession is good for the soul.

I met a couple of men in person - one I am still friends with. He eventually married and became a Pastor down in Southern California. He and his wife are friends with the Husband and I. He was just a pal. I never had any romantic thoughts about him. He had a Harley...what more can I say?  He would pick me up and take me for an ice cream after my daycare closed.  We were just pals. Of course the neighbors, I know,  thought differently. He would on occasion, he would drive by my house, in this big rig of a truck - honk his big horn and sit there in the middle of my street until I came out. Then he would hand over a cup of coffee, or donuts, or a hamburger he picked up for me. He was nice and a lot of fun. He also would come over and do handyman things around my house. He was always the gentlemen!  Too bad, I didn't have those types of feelings for him. I just didn't.

There was one man, I used to email and talk to, on the phone. I really liked him. We had so much in common. He liked me too but in the 2 years, we talked,  he never offered to come out to California to meet me. He always had excuses.  I grew tired of this online fling - I had to end it with him because it was messing with my mind and my heart too much.   He wrote to me, one time when he saw that my son had died and signed the quest book. He always showed good boundaries after I broke it off and his condolences was a kind gesture on his part. So there was no problem with him stalking me or anything.

Recently I did a search and found out something about him that blew me away. He had told me he was living with a woman, who was a room-mate.  She just recently passed away, and there it was in print - they had been life-partners for 19 years. THAT is why he never wanted me to phone him at his house. He always called my house. It's funny because 2 of my girlfriends at the time, kept asking me about his female room-mate. And I kept insisting he was telling me the truth.

Sometimes you do reckless things in your life and that was one of them. 2 years was too long to wait to meet someone in the flesh.  Every year around my anniversary I do think back - and thank God, I made the right decision for my life partner.  It could of been a totally different story, if I had continued in that going-no-where-online-relationship.













6 comments:

  1. I dated through the personal ads before online dating was an option. Three different guys. Didn't like any of them. *shiver*

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    Replies
    1. All of that single life crap, is not fun. *shiver*

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  2. I found Willy Dunne Wooters online at OKCupid. He is a gem. I was very wary of him, but he has proven himself kind and true. A former friend of mine used a Lutheran dating site. She got involved with a man who wanted to marry her sight unseen. He claimed he was wealthy, but then he asked her for money a few days before he was supposed to arrive for their big first meeting. She was going to give it to him. I begged her not to. Favorite Young Man ordered her to cut off all communication immediately. I hope she did.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. OH wow, that would be scary for sure. No this man never asked me for money and from all communication, he seemed like a keeper. The only thing was he said he couldn't come to California due to the fact he was taking care of his aged mother. (which was true) AND he wanted to keep me a secret and did not want his "room-mate" to know about me. Other than THAT, he was a sweet man. But 2 years is too long to wait to meet someone in person. I had my limits.

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  3. My eldest daughter met her ex via Myspace and it wasn't till after they had a daughter that she found out he was cheating on her the whole time they were together.............

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    Replies
    1. That's so sad. I hope she and her daughter are well now.

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Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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