Saturday, November 16, 2013

Yesterday - The MOther of all days





Maybe we have peaked - because yesterday was unreal. But we made it through and that is what we have to concentrate on for today.

The other day, the proverbial shit hit the fan with Roy and Charleen. Bottom-line, the man refuses to look for a job. He always has an excuse:

1. his back
2. his stomach-ache
3. headache
4. needs to organize
5. nap-time
6. his walk
or
7. has trapped gas. (I kid you NOT!)

Cowardly Roy sent Charleen in,  to tell us they were leaving - going back to Washington. I could tell Charleen was upset - scared. We asked HOW they were going to afford this, since they had told us as well as CalFresh they had no money. She broke down and admitted that he told her not to tell us, that he had about $200 on him. I was starting to wonder, since they went out and bought groceries - 3 big bags and brand name items that I don't even buy so I knew those bags must of cost them at least $50 or more.

The husband had some choice words for Roy as he confronted him. Meanwhile I am a nervous wreck. Charleen came in and I asked her how she felt about all of this and that is when I knew, there needed to be an intervention.  She told us she didn't want to go, but that she was afraid because he verbally and emotionally abuses her. He draws her in with sweet talk and then turns around and belittles her, even using her learning disability against her. She was shaking like a leaf - we told her to do what she feels she must and we will be behind her.

Next morning, they are packing up their car.  Earlier yesterday morning they went to the post office to send up packages - that cost around $60. (that magically appeared)  Never showed up for her SSI appointment at the social security office -  Finally, she was shaking, her face flushed and her neck looked as if she had a sunburn - took her blood pressure and it was 160/120. Her pulse was over 110.
She has a history of high blood pressure. That was enough for her to say, "That's it. I'm staying here and he can go."  I was pretty shocked.  So she called him in, and told him. He was shocked too, even though he had told her the night before that maybe she should just stay here and he can go up there and find work and an apartment. 

 Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, 
but expecting different results. 
Albert Einstein

So he left without her.  Of course he had to ask us directions to Wa, about 3 times. He even wanted to know about gas stations along the route.

"You stay on I-5 and when you see signs with a gas tank on it, you take that exit"

I mean, HOW MANY times does someone have to tell another HOW to get somewhere when he just did it, 2 weeks ago. This is a 41 year old man!

Charleen and I, then went back to SSI - waited so she could be seen again or reschedule her appointment but thankfully she was able to be interviewed. The interviewer told me that she noticed his control over her as she was the one who initially took their information. Char was talking on the phone to Roy. That surprised me and confirmed, we are doing the right thing.

So far, he has threatened her with divorce several times on the phone. In-between those times, he is telling her how much he loves and adores her. It's almost like clock-work - every other phone call.

Charleen on the other hand, is doing well and that dopey fog she was in, is starting to clear her head. She is determined to stay here to get the SSI completed and she has placed on him, some high priorities, before she moves back

1. Steady full time job
2. newer old car (the other one needs a oil pan)
3. a place to live

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