Sunday, November 17, 2013
The big guns - adult protective services
Blogging right now, is a way for me to document everything that is going on. Like a diary...hopefully a year from now I will see how much better everything is. I sure hope so.
From the MOther of all days, there was more "fun" ...I just couldn't cohesively put it on the same post.
The husband's father - continues to go downhill. He is much more acute, than what we were told. He can barely take care of himself. The diapers and personal urinal is not working. He continues to wet his bed and make a mess at the shelter. While all of this was going down, with C & R - the shelter kept calling and leaving messages saying they could no longer keep him because they do not have the facilities for someone like him.
He is almost out of money - and we are not able to take him in. There is no room and with all that he needs, he would need an attendant. Unless we just converted our living room. Then I would lose where I conduct my business. We are running out of our own money as it is, and with property taxes due in December and still we do not have the money saved like we always have. We are so screwed. We have spent money, moving C & R down here that would of gone toward the taxes. Moving him in with us, is NOT AN OPTION. Yes it is sad and regardless of how I feel for the man and what he has done, I do feel bad for him. I am concerned and worried about him, as well as for us.
The husband called back to the shelter to tell them. They were at their wit's end as we were but they have people they can call - we don't know what we are doing! This was flung at us out of left field.
An hour later, the county Adult Protective Services called. The guy there came down on us at first, trying to put this on us, as if we are the ones who caused all of this. We explained to him, about his marriage, how his wife's daughter and children were the ones who sent him out here, without giving us any notice. We do not have room at our home, nor do we even have transportation that will accommodate his wheelchair. I mean, WHAT CAN WE DO???? Finally he agreed that the FIL was pretty much dumped on us. He then said he would take it from there.
I don't know what is going to happen. Can the powers that be, FORCE us to take him, even if we have no room or real knowledge on how to take care of him?
I called a friend of mine, who is retired from the county. She said she could find people to help us. Tomorrow, if the husband can get off of work early, he has a appointment at a place for the homeless to help him get into an assisted living facility. If they don't make this appointment, we will have to wait even longer. Meanwhile APS intervened with the shelter, informing them, they cannot throw him out.
All we want, is for someone to help us, guide us but it seems the whole system city, county, state and feds are so messed up - so many hoops to jump through. And each one of them, keep passing him off to another.
I thought, we had a system in place, that would help those in NEED. It seems NO ONE knows what they are doing.
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