Monday, November 04, 2013

From bad to worse

And if you think things could not possibly get any worse than they are now - think again.

Get a phone call last night from my mother-in-law's daughter in Wisconsin. The old goat, apparently got mad and hit 2 of the family members with a cane. They are fed up with his behavior and booked him on a flight out here for midnight Wednesday...even worse, without his chair. 

My son who works at a care facility, said what they are doing is "elder dumping." They haven't given us any time to find him a place. and both C and I refuse to live under the same roof with him. The Husband is getting weak and blaming the family members for setting his dad up. Perhaps a little - but I know his dad and his past. He's not the nice man he appears to be.

So today when the husband gets home, we have to figure out something. There is absolutely no more room at the Inn.We don't know if they are sending him with money enough to at least put him in a motel. We know nothing at this point. I am sure this morning, a phone call to talk to his dad will be in order.

Last night I called a ombudsman for nursing homes here in California. They gave me the elder abuse hot line to call for this morning to see, what we can do. I don't know how he will be able to get around, without his chair. He can walk - he uses a walker but for any long stretches of walk, he needs his chair. It was probably too expensive for them to ship his chair.

PLUS, the husband works a midnight to 8am shift and guess who has to take the almost 3 hour drive to Sacramento to pick him up at midnight and drive back with him - alone for 3 more hours. Then what the heck do I do with him at that hour of the morning? It seems to be all on me.

I'm not a hard-hearted person - I don't have issues about helping out family members. Doesn't mean I relish the idea, but family is family and you do what you can.  Mind you, what you can. However, this is not your normal, "lets take care of Pop" kinda thing. The ombudsman gave me a mental health phone number to call as well. I have to convince my husband that, perhaps his father is NOT all together there. He also needs to stop blaming everyone else and realize, his father is a jerk. I don't care if he is 87 years old.

So far I am amazingly calm. Kinda freaky in a way....

photo credit: calvinistguy via photopin cc


  1. I am afraid you will be in danger with him. Elderly people, in or out of wheelchairs, can be amazingly strong when they go after what they want.


    1. I won't ever be alone with him. Only in the company of my family.

  2. Calm? Or in some kind of shock...

  3. That's not right to just dump him like that. I know why they don't want him there, but there are other ways to do things.


Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

Popular Posts