Friday, June 14, 2013

I'm in a FUNK - just saying...

I want to dream again...



Some of you who have been following me for some time - know that I can get moody and I do worry and obsess about things that are totally out of my control.  I hate that about myself.  Seems the older I get, the more I worry.

So today, once again, I decided I need to just STOP IT. I've had my 3 days of venting and it does me no good. 

I miss my friends -

I have few good friends up here.  It's been 5 years and I know it's me.

So today I thought I would call someone - just to talk. Ha, the one time I decide to do that, everyone is gone!  So I left messages which I usually won't do and now am kicking myself because they will all call back when I am back to being in my "People Bug Me Mood".  Oi Vey!

I think I am going to have to find a new doctor regarding my ongoing battle with depression and such.  While I am NOT in a deep depression, I am still not right.  I have no motivation. I still don't have energy.  I dwell on the negative.  I worry.  I don't want to do anything.  But I am not feeling happy or content.  I think I need new meds or something.  It is really keeping me from living life to the fullest. I know that. I do go UP up up and then I come crashing down. 

So if you are a prayer warrior, keep me in your prayers.  If you are not, just think good thoughts - I'll take those too.   I am feeling very hopeless.

Maybe that camping trip will be good for me.  Sitting around here is NOT. 



12 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I go through it, too. I'm doing well at the moment -- may even be ready to spend some time off meds before long. Do you see a family practice doctor or a psychiatrist? No need to actually answer. I think maybe a psychiatrist would have a better idea of something to help. My psychiatrist in Illinois helped me try different meds till I found just the right thing, and he also told me to watch comedies and stay away from sad stuff. He was encouraging and always there for me. So is the doctor I have now in Florida. She knew when I needed to go back on meds a few months ago, and knew when I needed an increase. When I know I don't need them, she'll understand that I know myself, but if she disagrees with me for any reason, she'll tell me what it is. I'll pray that your doctor is as good as mine.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. I haven't had a good head doctor since moving here 5 years ago. I had excellent mental health care in the bay area. I respond well to therapy - where I can share my deepest thoughts and just cry. That's what I need. PLus I think I need a new anti-depressant. My regular doctor here is a family practitioner and I like him, but emotional health is not his forte. This rural area I live, I may have to drive a way to see a good shrink - but I believe I need to get some help. I know my issues. I grieve. and I can't seem to move on.

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    2. Some griefs never go away. People tell us to move on, but they don't understand what it's like. I think it would be worthwhile to make the drive for more help.

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    3. IN a sense you do have to move on - you just naturally take all of that crap with you. I think I was born this way.

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  2. I am not good at making new friends.
    I hope you can find your happy again.

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you Ruth - I sure hope so too. I think at my age, everyone already has their friends....they don't want any new ones. It takes a lot of effort to make new friends and right now, I haven't got any strength to make any new ones.

      It is scary though - I wonder what would become of me, if everyone dies off and I have to make new friends. Will I be a recluse with a zillion cats and dogs??????

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    2. If you move around a lot it's difficult to find new friends. People are settled in their ways. There are newcomer groups and support groups for depression. I know you are not a groupie type...just a thought.

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    3. I don't like those kinds of groups...I'm much better at one on one therapy.

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  3. Friends...............what are those..............other then a bunch of people in a tv show........lol Seriously I don't make friends I don't know if is because I am shy, or some say rude, and others say I am aggressive I have no idea does it matter no don't think so........I am happy being me............hope you find your happy self soon

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  4. It is hard when friends move away.
    But hope your mood swings improve. Try to keep yourself occupied alot.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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