Thursday, June 13, 2013

Hope or Cope?

Well...nothing has changed - only that it always feels good to just pound it out on a keyboard for me. Or else I grumble to myself.

Foodie and I talked again last night about stupid mistakes, we've all made in our past. Ohhhhhhhhh if he had only listened to his Mama, years ago. They all think, they can do whatever they want, with no consequences.  WRONG!  I was a rebellious teen and unfortunately Foodie did take after me, in some ways.  Times are different and are not as forgiving as they were 30-40 years ago.

So he is going to cave in humble himself - and apply for Cal Fresh.  He can do that, as well as appeal the unemployment situation and then continue to pound the pavement. If it is there, he might as well get help after-all, we're paying for it.

Times like this is when I want to pull up stakes and live off the grid - do my own thing. But as the Husband and I approach our 60's (I am 2 years older) I wonder how long our good health will last. I really would love to see my sons move out - but with their situation, I'd be putting them literally out in the street. They are not in a good position.

My folks were tough - I was raised and told constantly, that once I leave home - that is it. I can never come back for help or to live.  That scared the crap out of me and I was very careful.  I also never borrowed money from them or asked them for a dime.  I never burdened my parents with my problems either because if I did, then I would hear their opinion and many times, I would not like it. So it came to a very big surprise to them, when I announced that my first husband and I were divorcing after 24 years of marriage.

They never helped me.  However, they did show favoritism toward my sister - when she divorced.  Dad would go and help her get new tires and all. Not with me!  I was the tough one - I could handle it. Little did they know, or even want to know, that I struggled.  OKAY so I had to dig DEEP and get myself out of it.  But a little help would of been nice.  Would it have changed the way I did things?  I don't know.  All I know is I am better for it.  Whereas sister, has always had to depend on a man - I did it myself with 3 boys - no man and I did fine.

These sons of mine did fine, out of the starting gate.  They lived on their own and had their own lives, until 5 years ago. Navy got out of the Navy - I remember telling him, he should take that re-signing bonus and stay in another 3 years.   He had just got off his 2nd deployment and wasn't thinking clear - all he was thinking is that he wanted out and he wanted that post 9-11 GI Bill that pays for his college and living expenses. The San Francisco rate was very high and he had visions of living large.  WRONG!  He never considered the high cost of living, the high cost of rents etc.  He ended up in living in a flea bag motel, near his college.  Then he comes up here - goes to school and then drops out, because the fire-fighting industry is not a sure thing.  Most will go to school and take the training - few actually become fire-fighters. And if you do, you are always at the mercy of the cities, counties budget woes. Seems they all want the "sure thing" and there is no such animal.  Life is a gamble.

I could scream at times - I could save so much MORE money if they were not here.  Yeah yeah, they pay me their room and board - just so they know I won't be used.  We've given up a lot. Our privacy is gone. My total QUIET is gone.  The way I want to keep my house, is gone.  The only good thing is, I do get along with them and they are good company. I'm thinking though, what if, they are never able to leave?

That's the thing - I used to always have HOPE...that while things in our country might be bad, it is ONLY for a season.  But now, I just don't know.  I've lost all confidence in the way this government governs.  I don't think any of them in DC know the heck of what they are doing - they just do what their party wants - not what the people who voted them in wants. No hope - I just COPE.

We are so screwed. 

photo credit: The Hamster Factor via photopin cc


  1. I certainly understand your frustration with this government. Good jobs are hard to come by! I really still hope this country has a turn around, but I am the eternal optimist.

    1. It's good to be a optimist - I used to be but right now, I am not. I haven't been "on board" with out government since 9-11. Things are just so crazy now.

  2. This situation is tough. Favorite Young Man and I lived together for 11 months when I moved to Florida. He helped me prepare to be on my own, and has continued to help since he moved out. The difference, though, was that he didn't need to live with me. I needed him. At the end of 11 months, we were ready to kill each other. We recovered when he got his own place, and we get along well now. I actually like living alone.


    1. That's always good to have someone, who can help you.

      When I remarried, I actually missed my single days. Not that I was out and about, I missed me and my friends and just being responsible. While I do love the Husband, there are times, that I do miss those times. They were not easy years raising up my sons, but they were memorable and we had some good times.

  3. You are not alone. Practically every driveway in my neighborhood has multiple cars since families are still living with their adult children.

    1. Ugh! Yep we are car jockeying here all the time.

  4. My husband has been saying for the last few years that our daughter might never move out. It is a real possibility.
    Sure, she plans on college, but after that who knows?

    1. I just saw a article about recent college grads are among the unemployed - I feel for them because a simple ground entry level job might not hire them because they are over qualified.


Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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