Thursday, May 09, 2013
It's only a friggen date
People are funny - especially this "people." as in, myself. I get myself all worked up at the approach of certain sad dates, anniversaries and holidays - that it does take out most of the sting when I finally get there. It's only a day and if I could just learn how to not let a certain date get to me. Maybe it's a OCD-thing with me. I tend to obsess and get myself all worked up and it does me no good and I have to stop this, fixation on sad dates and events.
It's basically a pity party but on a larger scope. Woe is me. I don't want to be thought of as a pitiful person. I want to be known as a strong person, who has strong emotions and passionate feelings about the people she has loved in her life. I'm alive, yet I allow these days to sometimes, cripple me. I do have some CONTROL in all of this, I just can't find it.
I've been to grief-support groups and grief-recovery groups and grief counselors - the past 10 years and basically they all say to let those feelings flow. Fine, but what if you tend to have out-of-control feelings that tend to knock you off your path? At some point, you need to just put a plug in it.
I know I will never forget the day - but I would much prefer to be a "grown-up" about it. Accept it for what it is, and move on. Life is too short.
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