D is for Divorce.
I was married to my high school sweetheart for 24 years. How sad that we couldn't even make it to 25 years. We had been through so much together. We split after 22 years - I hated all the arguing and fighting. I was so much better when he was not around.
We battled on and off for 2 years before the divorce was final, while separated. That was a hard 2 years!!! Our sons chose to live with me. It wasn't even an issue and I was thankful for that and he seemed to not care. He moved in with his mother and didn't have room for them anyway, except for on his weekends.
I was 15 and a freshmen and he was a senior-jock in high school. Honestly, when I look back, my folks should of never allowed me to get tied down to one boy - but then again I probably wouldn't of listened to them.
After the divorce, I blossomed! I had the best time with my friends - and my sons. Our home life was more peaceful and not as chaotic as it had once been. The drama was gone. I do regret those years, while married when I was preoccupied at trying to save my marriage - often over-looking things with my sons, that I would have not done, had I been more attentive to them. I regret that!
I haven't seen my ex in almost 10 years, since our first born son passed away. I last saw him at the Memorial. He had made a complete fool out of himself. He hasn't seen his other 2 sons since then, either. I don't understand that. How can someone who said they loved their sons, then go on to just cut them out of their life? After that, we lost total contact with him.
A friend of mine back told me that he had been spotted - and he was homeless, living at the beach. No job, no house, nothing. Just a bum. About 2 years ago, the attorney for his mother's estate contacted me. He was on a missing person database - and they had to notify him since he had inherited a lot money, half a house and property in Arizona. He did finally show up, to the attorney's office, stinking of booze, and looking quite disheveled. He received almost a million dollars! We still have not heard from him and he knows where to find us.
No one would of even believed this would of happened to us. We were like the couple most likely to succeed! Our neighbors and friends thought we were this wonderful couple that had this beautiful marriage.
Once we divorced, a couple of neighbor ladies had told me he had made some "advances" to them, while we were married. Yeah he had those "issues" as well. Makes me wonder, if they had told me, back then - would I have believed them? One friend told me, he always gave her the creeps. Wow. Then I started hearing about the neighbors - and their marriages started breaking up. This was in the mid 90's. It was crazy. It's like we started it all, with our divorce.
Divorce is always sad for the children, no matter what their age and no matter what they say. It hurts. Sometimes a divorce has to happen. Many times it can wait. I tried to wait but he got worse with the drinking and the drugs, the lying and the sneaking around. I was afraid he would bring us all down with him. I couldn't take it anymore and did what I had to do. As for my sons, it affected them. They do not trust or even want a serious relationship and seem to be confirmed bachelors.
photo credit: bobfranklin via photopin cc