Thursday, December 20, 2012

mind games




My body is aching, in a good way. I am feeling muscles I never knew I had or that have been hidden for a few years. People think exercise is a physical thing - for me it's all mental. I'm not that "out-of-shape" that I can't do it - it's my stinkin thinkin.  Like now, I'm stiff and sore so my mind automatically goes into STINK MODE and starts telling me,

"You're an old lady now - you don't need to get in shape"
"You'll never lose it, Doll"
"It's over for you"
"You won't be able to do it, girlfriend"
"Why waste your money?" 

I have goals now.

 In March I will be 59 and I then will have 1 year before I am 60. OMG I can't believe that I,  former Babe and Cool-hippie-chick, will be 60. My 50's were a total WASH for me. My son died which kicked me into menopause. I was depressed. Then my dad died unexpectedly in the middle of a disagreement, him and I had - and so I never got to tell him how much I loved him. That did a mind f**K on me. Then I immersed myself into my Mom and her care - only to lose her to suicide a year later.  We moved and started fresh in a new area. My best friend dies. I went through empty nest right after my son died and now, 2 of them are back. I survived 2 deployments with one son. The other son, a job loss and his financial collapse.
My 50's were a combination of having money, and then not having money. Living in a RV to pay off bills to buying my sisters half of our parents home. Crazy 10 years.

So I have christened my upcoming 60's as a time of beauty -  It's TIME FOR ME!

I want to finally get back to where I was at 49. I was a size 3-4 and now I am a tight 11/12. (Really I should go up to a size 13 but I refuse to buy anything that large. (except for tops)

 My 60's will be sexy, slender, spicy (Spicy???)  I want to get back into backpacking and hiking. Just moving my body would be a good thing and traveling if at all possible.

So that's my deal -

1 comment:

  1. I'd be in the loonybin if I were you. Seriously. Goals are good. I only discovered them in my late thirties, and I haven't set that many, but it feels good to achieve them.

    I'm giving up alcohol(wine)for thirty days. Three more days to go. I might decide to go 90 days. We'll see.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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