Sunday, November 18, 2012

Day 7. Has your life gone the way you expected it?

 WARNING - If you do not like sentimental posts - do not read this. 

 I don't know how to make "light" out of this challenge question.  I could just skip it.  But then you wouldn't know what makes me tick.

No - my life has not gone the way I expected.  I lost control of it, after I gave birth to my first son, Michael.  He was born with a birth defect - a rare form of bone dysplasia that resulted in severe dwarfism.  Yep, you heard me. I gave birth to a "Little Person".  I hate to keep saying, "Back then" to all you young readers, but that is the way it was, BACK THEN.  I was 23, there were no "tests" and since I had a picture perfect pregnancy there was no need to assume I would have a less than perfect child. After a  2 hour labor,  the words from the delivering doctor - that changed my life forever,

" My god, this baby is a dwarf."

I did not even know what gender I had, only that it was a dwarf, with club feet. I got hysterical and they put me out.

Yes, the god I did not believe in, was punishing me with a deformed child. When I saw him, he was beautiful. So alert, as if he knew, the world would be a hard place for him. I looked down at him and vowed, I would be the BEST MOM to him.

We went on to have 2 other sons, of average size and we had a nice family.  Michael was popular in school - was smart and a gifted writer.  He also was a cartoonist.  He graduated Cal State Long Beach with a political science major and then dropped dead of a heart attack, at the age of 25. a year later.

I spent 8 years in grief.  I just couldn't accept it. I knew the scriptures - I knew all about that.  I just didn't like it and almost lost my faith. What kept me going, was that Michael himself, is the one who led me to the Lord, when he was 8 years old. He stayed with it, till the day the Lord came and took him home. 

Such a gift, Michael was to me. Michael is the one who shaped me up - I grew up BIG TIME, while sitting on a bed pan - working up my first pee, when the doctors came in - to tell me about his health. I remember, sitting there and thinking, "I can't change this - there is no way for me to get out of this".  I finally grew up. I always said, Michael is the one who made me what I am today.

I've had other experiences - that twisted and turned my life upside down.  Adultery,  Divorce, losing everything - but none of them compared to giving birth to the best little guy - and I am blessed that I had 25 years with him - and that I was his mom. So while I wouldn't of picked this life for me,  it was the life that was best for me.


  1. Your life...although tough....made you into the wonderfully strong person that you are today. Great post love! This got me tearing up. xo


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