Sunday, November 18, 2012

Day 7. Has your life gone the way you expected it?

 WARNING - If you do not like sentimental posts - do not read this. 



 I don't know how to make "light" out of this challenge question.  I could just skip it.  But then you wouldn't know what makes me tick.

No - my life has not gone the way I expected.  I lost control of it, after I gave birth to my first son, Michael.  He was born with a birth defect - a rare form of bone dysplasia that resulted in severe dwarfism.  Yep, you heard me. I gave birth to a "Little Person".  I hate to keep saying, "Back then" to all you young readers, but that is the way it was, BACK THEN.  I was 23, there were no "tests" and since I had a picture perfect pregnancy there was no need to assume I would have a less than perfect child. After a  2 hour labor,  the words from the delivering doctor - that changed my life forever,

" My god, this baby is a dwarf."

I did not even know what gender I had, only that it was a dwarf, with club feet. I got hysterical and they put me out.

Yes, the god I did not believe in, was punishing me with a deformed child. When I saw him, he was beautiful. So alert, as if he knew, the world would be a hard place for him. I looked down at him and vowed, I would be the BEST MOM to him.

We went on to have 2 other sons, of average size and we had a nice family.  Michael was popular in school - was smart and a gifted writer.  He also was a cartoonist.  He graduated Cal State Long Beach with a political science major and then dropped dead of a heart attack, at the age of 25. a year later.

I spent 8 years in grief.  I just couldn't accept it. I knew the scriptures - I knew all about that.  I just didn't like it and almost lost my faith. What kept me going, was that Michael himself, is the one who led me to the Lord, when he was 8 years old. He stayed with it, till the day the Lord came and took him home. 

Such a gift, Michael was to me. Michael is the one who shaped me up - I grew up BIG TIME, while sitting on a bed pan - working up my first pee, when the doctors came in - to tell me about his health. I remember, sitting there and thinking, "I can't change this - there is no way for me to get out of this".  I finally grew up. I always said, Michael is the one who made me what I am today.

I've had other experiences - that twisted and turned my life upside down.  Adultery,  Divorce, losing everything - but none of them compared to giving birth to the best little guy - and I am blessed that I had 25 years with him - and that I was his mom. So while I wouldn't of picked this life for me,  it was the life that was best for me.





5 comments:

  1. Your life...although tough....made you into the wonderfully strong person that you are today. Great post love! This got me tearing up. xo

    ReplyDelete

Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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