Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I miss my best friend


 My best friend, died suddenly in Nov of 2010. She was barely 50.  I miss her so much and just can't seem to shake it. I mean I don't go and cry all day -  I just don't want to have to go out and try and find a new best friend. It sounds so "high school" doesn't it? 

So I am going through a lonely, friend-less season.

Oh I have friends and friendly acquaintances. It's not the same. If I had wanted a bff in that "pool" of personalities, it would of happened already. Something my dear husband, doesn't understand. He keeps pointing out people to me,

"What about Suzie Q?"
"How about Jane Doe?"

 They're okay. Just not bff material.

 Or he tries to "set me up" with someone.  Men just don't get it.


It's like when you have had a best friend for 20+ years, you kinda lose the skill or maybe you just are content with the friend you have. Then, they die on you and you are left alone.  Most women already have their really close friends.  They are not looking. 

My friend was so funny. I could tell her anything and we'd laugh. I don't have "that" with anyone else. That takes years.  Although my friend and I seemed to click right away. We were always on the same page!

I think that is one reason why I am bored. Maybe it's not boredom after all -  It's just simply,  I am missing my bff.

PS.  Plus yesterday I was supposed to have lunch with a "friend" and she stood me up.  This is not the first time. She's a nice lady but she is recently widowed and she is going through that, "I've gotta find me a man" stage. 

2 comments:

  1. You have lost a lot of close people over the years. You're probably not a group person, but maybe a bereavement group could help. Just a thought. I am not a group person either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did a 2 year bereavement group after my son died which was a lifesaver for me. My mom committed suicide in 2008 and when we moved here I did seek out a suicide group which was helpful.

      You know, I've learned the "tools" I just need to apply them. I've actually thought instead of going to a group, to put myself out there and help - be a grief counselor. Although, someone tell me their story and I would probably break down and cry and then it would trigger all my stuff.

      There really is a happy, jovial person who enjoys life inside me. I just lose touch with "her" now and then...

      Delete

Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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