Thursday, February 01, 2007

New Beginnings

The month of Jan just flew by and it wasn't fun either.

My dad passed away on the 8th and I still can't believe it. I mean I believe it, but it just doesn't seem real. It was a day I dreaded ever since I was a little girl and I started to realize how death separates you from the ones you love. I remember my mom standing at the kitchen sink, and I was asking her, "why do we all have to die?" and she very simply said, "we all die, Honey, its the way life is". Oh sure she told me about going to heaven, but quite frankly, that was a bit over my head as I had no real church experience. I remember crying and crying, because I did not want to ever see that day.

 That day came for me, on Monday Jan 8, 2007. My dad was a young, 74 years old. Still had so much more to live for. ONLY he was in major pain and had massive heart disease which was killing him day after day. I guess we didn't realize it was serious enough to actually kill him. But then again, I think we knew. We were in denial. I grieve and mourn for my daddy, but it is not the same, when I mourned my son. Because I see, how much my Mom is more effected by this, than I am. She lived with him for 54 years. She is so lonely now and that kills me to see her, like this. She is a strong woman, and will survive, but it will take some time.

 Beginnings and endings. Like the turning of a calender page, month to month, so goes another life here on this earth. I am thankful that my dad knew and was a passionate seeker of God.

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