Friday, February 23, 2007

I miss my Mommy

I'm glad today is today, because yesterday was not good. In fact this week has not been normal for me.

It started with Daniel's trip to emergency in an ambulance. That phone call in the early morning, was scary and having already lost one precious son to a early death, it shook me to my core. So now we think he has this syncope, a condition of low blood pressure. I don't understand how doctors can just throw out a diagnosis without blood tests etc (they did do a EKG)

I'm concerned about that.

I am also concerned about my Mom. She is really going through those dark days of grieving. Its that time AFTER everyone goes about their business, and you are alone. I grieve for my Mom, more than Dad because I see the pain and hear her broken heart. A part of my Mom has died with my Dad and that is sad to me, but I understand it, and have to accept it, because when Michael died, a part of me died with him and will never be the same.

 My car needs to get some warranty work done before 36,000 miles and I have to get that done next week so I can readily go up and stay with Mom for a few days a month. PRAY I can manage all of this and not neglect my own home and family. I want so much to FIX this, with Mom. and I find that interesting in myself, knowing full well that I cannot. I should know better...I know grief, all too well and I know this is going to be a hard road for my Mom. I just feel so sad for her.

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Comments are good - I admit, sometimes I don't respond back, in time for a dialog. I bad! I will TRY and do better. Thanks for understanding.

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