My dad's memorial was Sat and it was emotional.
Many showed up and
that was a comfort to us all.
I am however, having a hard time crying. Because dad and I
never settled our grievance with each other, I feel I do not have the
right to grieve. In fact, I feel as a hypocrite. Plus, my sister and
my Mom are so close and my sister has always been their favorite...I
just felt as if I didn't belong there as a family member.
I am dealing
with a lot of regret and shame.
I cried out to God to forgive me and I know he has. I am working at
forgiving myself now. But unfortunately I will always have regrets and
that, I will have to live with.
I'm doing fine...every morning I call my Mom and let her talk...and
cry to me. Its very lonely when your spouse goes, after nearly 54
years of marriage. I can't fathom, how that would feel.
Back to work yesterday and I am working every day this week.
Grandparents day is Friday. I go every year and it does bring me JOY.
I just love those kids!!!
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